This is a hard post to write. I have ummed and ahhed about posting it here because it is personal but also so much a part of my everyday.
I always strive to be genuine here. To keep it real. To try not to paint everything rosy.
But on the other hand I choose to share the good over the bad.
All that to say... this is real life. The boy and me, as we are, at the moment.
The photos I post of the boy and me will show us together. The truth of it is that for the majority of the time we are not in the same place.
We have been working out a long distance relationship for three years now.
Partly out of choice- we were heading to different universities- and partly, because this is the way it is. We both feel very 'right' and called to the places we are at the moment.
People often ask me "what is it like?" "what is it like to do long distance?"
I struggle to answer them because it is like asking, 'what is it like to do a relationship?'
Well it can be the best of times and it can be the worst.
Sometimes not being with him is suffocating, draining, frankly rubbish. It makes my heart weary.
At other times it is magic and full of opportunity.
He doesn't have to see my worst. But he also misses my best.
Most days it is easy. Most days I don't really think too hard about it. It's a situation the boy and I can't change and we just carry on.
But every now and then I am reminded that it can be tough and I am oh so thankful that God willing, this is only a season.
It is the times I turn to tell him a story or share a joke or just need him to know and he isn't there.
But, we have a phone. We have FaceTime. We have video calls and emails.
He is there at the press of a button. Above all he is in the same country, in the same time zone.
And even when the day has been hard, we talk and we laugh and sometimes we cry but the things in my heart fall back into place.
Three years of long distance have taught me a lot.
I have learnt to accept (perhaps not so graciously) what we have. To accept a situation and to make the best of it.
I have learnt that speaking face to face is oh so good for my soul.
I have learnt that open communication is important. That sharing names of friends, place names, details are all important in making the other feel included.
I have learnt to cherish this time I am not with him, to use it for good, in creating a life for myself independent of him.
Above all, 'long distance' is a label. Its not what I, or the boy choose to define ourselves as however it is my day to day reality. Yes, it often isn't easy but I'm thankful that I have such a funny, kind, generous, Godly man who walks life with me.
This long distance lark, like everything else, shall pass.